语感联盟

中国儒家文化与美国当代社会---萨瓦纳州立大学孔子学院讲座纪实

      北佛罗里达大学孔子学院应萨瓦娜州立大学孔子学院之邀，特派出孔院讲师团（健康学院赵梅教授，文理学院王克宁教授，商学院安莲教授，强生公司徐晶博士，国内儒学专家安德义先生）进行友好的讲学访问，这是孔院机构之间的一次“以文会友，以友辅仁”的活动。此次讲座晚宴由萨瓦娜州立大学孔子学院美方院长Dr. Blood Peggy 和中方院长罗其娟女士全权操办，由社会行为科学教授Dr. Dorothy Gardner-Martine主持，由校长助理 Dr. Mable Moore 致辞。
      北佛孔院代表团当晚献上精彩的晚宴主题演讲“中国儒家文化在当代社会。”由儒学专家安德义先生开启主题演讲“儒家文化与成功人生”。安先生给在场美国人首先介绍孔子是中国最伟大的思想家，教育家。紧接着从来源，功能，内涵角度介绍儒家文化的定义。安先生特别提出儒家文化的三个核心字眼是“仁，中，和”，以“以仁为核心，以中为方法论，以和为目的”。“仁”并非“毫不利己，专门利人”的“仁”，儒家文化的“仁”就是二人相处相接的关系，就是心中时时有别人，就是“不损人而利己，不妨人而有益”。而“中”是分寸，是尺度，天下的学问就是分寸二字，说话有分寸，做事有分寸，就连道德要求也是有分寸的，做到的“仁”，“中”，检验标准就是“和谐”了，和谐是一种让他人舒服也能让自己舒服的状态。紧接着安先生提出成功人生的四个标准：1.达到预定的目标；2. 家庭关系融洽，3.子女教育成功； 4.找到心灵的归宿。而成功人生的内容是”心理健康，人格健全”，这也是孩子教育的成功标志，孩子的教育不仅仅是吹拉弹唱的才艺教育，更是情怀与格局，心智与品行的教育。一个“心理健康”的人能够与自己和谐相处，能够控制自己的情绪，而一个“人格健全”的人可以于他人和谐相处，能让他人如沐春风，由由然不忍去也。能和自己与他人都和谐相处的人生，也就是成功人生了。安先生最后特别提到成功人生的更高标准便是，不仅能成就自己，也能成就他人，所谓“己欲立而立人，己欲达而达人”，而这就是通过领袖力表现出来。
      卫生学院的公共卫生管理项目主任赵梅教授紧随其后，用流利的英语向全场的美国人进行了“儒家文化与领导力”的主题演讲。赵梅教授现身说法，用儒家文化的“恭，宽，信，惠，敏”，“仁，义，礼，智，信”的东方哲学演绎西方社会的领袖能力。曾经高远，飘渺，抽象的领袖力经赵梅教授一演说，顿时贴切，生动，具象了。沃伦·班尼斯曾经说过“领袖力就象美，它难以定义，但当你看到时，你就知道”。领袖力是什么呢？赵梅博士告诉我们，领袖力其实就是与人相处的能力，领袖力就是心中装有别人，领袖力就是”分惠于人，有善勿专“，领袖力就是“舍己从人，奉献自己”，领袖力就是“以善养人”，春风化雨，润物无声，而非站在道德的高点去“以善教人”。赵梅博士特别提到培养孩子的领袖能力，就是从小培养她的“吃亏”能力，培养她的奉献精神。好的领袖力离不开强大的沟通能力，赵梅介绍顺势引出徐晶博士的主题演讲“儒家文化与沟通力”。
        徐晶博士开宗明义，点出有效沟通的四大因素“沟通对象，沟通时机，沟通障碍，说服拒绝否定等沟通的艺术”。
        因为时间关系，徐晶博士不能一一展开，他着重阐述了“沟通的障碍”，因为克服沟通障碍是迈向有效沟通的第一步。而我们通常所面临哪几个沟通障碍呢？徐晶博士引用论语“子绝四：毋意，毋必，毋固，毋我”，点出“主观臆测，绝对正确，固执己见，看重自我”乃是人与人沟通的四大障碍。徐晶博士闲庭信步，娓娓道来，用生动的列子进一步阐述这四大障碍，比如说妻子看见丈夫的信用卡有附近旅店的消费记录，便怀疑丈夫出轨，殊不知是信用卡被盗导致，这便是主观臆测产生的沟通障碍；比如说夫妻间总是认为对方应该体贴我，应该关心我，对于对方的付出抱有理所当然的态度，稍有不顺便引发矛盾，这就是“ 必”，绝对的要求对方所引起的沟通障碍；又比如说很多人常常从自己的角度出发，不能采纳他人的意见，这便是“固执己见”，而这三个沟通障碍的根源又来自于第四点即“看重自我”，把自己看得太重的“我执”。徐晶博士引用安先生道：“把自己看得很小，世界就很大，把自己看得很大，世界就很小”。听众频频点头，会心微笑，发现原来生活中我们常常犯这个四个毛病却毫无知觉且居之不疑，这就是沟通的四大障碍。

  领导力的修炼，沟通能力的培养，乃至于取得成功人生离不开好的教育。王克宁教授紧接着用高度精炼的英语做了“儒家文化与现代教育”的演讲。王教授告诉听众，早在2500年以前，中国的孔子就已经提出了“因材施教”的教育方法。这个“材”包括五方面内容：时间，空间，性格，特征，心理，而通常人人往往忽略了时间和空间。比如对同一个有网瘾的孩子，在他5岁和15岁时候的处理方式就截然不同了。而空间包括环境、心境、困境、绝境等。而要认识孩子的性格，特征和心理，就要了解孩子的天性，秉性和习性，天性是纯善无恶，秉性是纯恶无善，习性是可善可恶，教育就是要认识孩子习性，秉性，天性，做到去习性，化秉性，圆满天性，长善而救其失。王教授特别强调了“七不责”，有七种情况不责备孩子：对众不责，愧悔不责，暮夜不责，饮食不责，欢庆不责，忧伤不责，病痛不责。给在坐的美国家长提出了具体可操作的方法。语罢，王教授总结，前面四场报告均是有关精神层面的话题，下面要讨论物质层面的话题，她巧妙的引出安莲教授的主题演讲“儒家文化与现代经济”。

       安莲教授一针见血，首先指出当下很多人对孔子的误解，认为孔子清贫乐道，迂远不切实际，在物质建设与精神建设中厚此而薄彼，过分强调精神建设而忽视财富积累。安莲教授切中肯綮，直接引用论语中“义与利，人之所欲”，“子适卫，冉有仆”等著名经典语言，印证孔子鼓励发财致富，并且主张“先富后教”的治国理念。安莲教授进而阐述，儒家文化不仅是处理关系的文化，更是研究人性的文化，追求利益是人之本性，孔子洞悉人性，尊重人性，因此鼓励人们以道义的方式追求财富，所谓“不妨人而利己，不损人而有益”，要求“见得思义”。而好的经济政策也一定是建立在对人性的了解上，只有符合人性的经济政策才能够落实并久远。市场经济为什么优于计划经济，那就是市场经济的运行尊重人性，符合人性。而市场经济中常有的市场失灵也是人性中不好的地方所导致。因此经济学家应该深度研究人性，制定出即能发扬人性光辉，又能回避人性弱点的好政策，做到长善救失。最后安莲教授总结道，现代经济中的“仁”就是创造公平和效率兼备的经济体制，“中”即是政府有效有限有分寸的介入市场，即不过多干预市场机制，又能在市场失灵时适时介入。如果做到了”仁”与“中”，经济必将走向“和”。经济中的和谐则体现在“个人利益和社会利益的统一”，即亚当斯密的“看不见的手”中所提出的“当每个人追求个人利益最大化的同时也正好是社会的利益最大化”。
        这五个报告从不同的方面探讨了儒家文化与现代生活的关系，环环相生，丝丝入扣，层峦叠嶂，彼此呼应，在坐听众大呼过瘾。自由讨论时间观众踊跃，纷纷提出很多问题，有国家层面的，如“怎么运用孔子智慧解决中国南海问题”，有家庭教子方面的，如“父母如何协调好几个子女之间的冲突”，有理论层面的，如“孔子的经济意识形态到底是资本主义呢还是社会主义”，各种问题不一而足。此次讲座活动引起强烈反响与共鸣。很多美国观众表示，没有想到东方的孔子文化也适用于西方的现代社会。这不禁让人们再次感概，文化没有国界，因为人性是共同的，文化是相通的，经典文化“经古今而不变，历万劫而常新”，无论国界，无论肤色，经典文化都有洞察人性的能力，有直抵人心的力量。讲座在友好和谐的讨论中顺利结束。

附：英文版

Chinese Confucianism and The Millennial Generation

      The delegates from the Confucius Institute (CI) at University of North Florida （UNF）visited the CI at Savannah State University (SSU) for a dinner event to deliver a panel session titled “Chinese Confucianism and the Millennial Generation”. The event was hosted by CI at SSU, under the leadership of director Dr. Blood and co-director Ms Luo.
      Mr. An, Deyi, the keynote speaker, is an established scholar of Confucianism as well as a renowned public speaker in China. He brought the keynote speech “Confucianism and Successful Life”. He first introduced to the audience that Confucius is the most famous educator and philosopher in China. He then defined “Confucianism” from the perspective of “origin”, “functionality” and “connotation”. Especially, Confucianism has “benevolence” as its core, “doctrine of mean” as its method and “harmony” as its final pursuit. What is benevolence? It is not pure selfless, nor complete devotion of oneself. Rather, it is to put others in your heart, put yourself in other’s shoes. “Doctrine of mean” is a sense of balance, propriety, appropriateness, knowing when to go and where to stop. “There is propriety for everything, in talking, in behaving, even there is proper restraint for moral standard”, Mr. An said. If one is benevolent and sticks to “doctrine of mean”, then he can achieves harmony, making others surrounding him comfortable as well as making himself comfortable. Mr. An also proposes four criterion for successful life, i.e., 1) achieve pre-setting goals; 2) maintain harmonious relationship; 3) educate children to reach their potentials; 4) find the inner peace and serenity. Study Confucianism can help one to achieve healthy mindset as well we well-rounded personality. “Healthy mindset” enables one to get along well with oneself, and “well-rounded personality” enables one to get along well with others, then a successful life is obtained. Lastly, Mr An mentioned that another criterion for successful life is to have leadership. Typically, a great leader is also a successful person. A great leader not only establish oneself but also can help others do so. How to obtain leadership?
       Dr. Zhao, Mei, professor of health administration as well as the director for Master of Health Administration program, delivers her talk on “Confucianism and Modern Leadership”. Dr. Zhao first introduced the ten desirable qualities of a great leader, and then map them into the tenets of Confucianism, i.e., “respect, tolerance, integrity, ritualness, wisdom”. Dr. Zhao said: “What is leadership? Leadership is to put others in your heart; leadership is to sacrifice one’s own benefit for the benefit of the team; leadership is to distribute benefits, including money and fame, to subordinates.” Finally, Dr. Zhao mentioned that great communication skills is indispensable to great leadership. How to hone communication skills? Dr. Zhao then naturally introduced Dr. Jing Xu and his talk “Confucianism and Communication Skills”.
        Dr. Xu, Jing, a senior biostatistician at Vistakon Johonson&Johnson as well as a visiting assistant professor at UNF, gave a speech on how to apply Confucianism to daily communication.
        Dr. Xu first introduced the four building blocks of effective communication, i.e., “partner of communication, timing of communication, challenging situations, and obstacles in communication”. Due to the time limit, Dr. Xu focused on the four obstacles of communication, i.e., “entertaining conjectures”, “demanding absolute certainty”, “being stubborn” and “being egotistical”. For example, a lady found a hotel transaction record on her husband’s credit card, and she concluded that her husband must have engaged in extramarital affairs. However, the hotel transaction was actually due to the fraud on credit card. This is an example of “entertaining conjectures”. How to avoid it? One needs to be open-eared and act on information rather than speculation. Dr. Xu further told the audience, to avoid “demanding certainty”, one needs to be open-minded, to express feelings rather than emotions and to express needs rather than complaints. To avoid “being stubborn”, one needs to be flexible and exploring alternatives to find synergy; to avoid “being egotistical”, one needs to be thoughtful and put oneself in other’s shoes. After one conquers the four obstacles, effective communication will be on the way.

To lead a successful life, achieve leadership and communication skills, a good education is a must. Dr. Wang, Kening, an associate professor of Mathematics and Statistics, offered her titled speech “Confucianism and Modern Education”. Dr. Wang instructed the audience that aptitude-oriented education was first proposed and put into practice by Confucius. She told a story between Confucius and his three students to illustrate how Confucius applies aptitude-oriented education. Aptitude not only include students’ personality and characteristics, but also include different times and locations. So Confucius proposed that education methods should be designed according to different times and locations as well as different personalities. For example, the method to help a kid to get rid of addiction to internet games may be totally different when he is 8 years old versus when he is 15 years old. Dr. Wang further offered seven “do not blames” as practical tips, which include “do not blame in front of others; do not blame when kids already regretting; do not blame during bedtime; do not blame when eating, when excited, when upset and when sick”.

         The above four topics are all on spiritual level. Dr. An Lian, an associate professor of Economics, then offered her talk on “Confucianism and Modern Economy” to discuss implication of Confucianism on economy. Dr. An told the audience, Confucius's attitude on wealth accumulation was frequently misunderstood by people, and Confucius was blamed for being an empty talker who subordinates economic development to moral construction of a society. Thus, China did not progress a lot for many centuries due to this cultural reason. Is this really the case? Dr. An started by sharing some quotes from the Analects of Confucius Sayings. It is found that Confucius holds positive attitude toward wealth accumulation. Dr An explained, Confucianism actually is a study on human nature. Confucius understands, acknowledges and respects human nature, so it is perfect to achieve wealth since seeking benefit is part of human nature. Making fortune in a justifiable way without harming others is great. Only getting rich by harming others is despicable. To summarize, Confucius’s attitude on wealth building is “win without other’s loss, gain without other’s pain.” Dr. An proposed that economist should study Confucianism and gain deep understanding about human nature. Only economic policy based on human nature is executable and long lasting. Dr An then elaborated the three key tenets of Confucianism within the context of modern economy. Benevolence means designing good economic policy that ensure efficient and equitable production. Doctrine of median is to exert right amount of government intervention in a market. Harmony is achieved when there is alignment between individuals’ interests and public interests.
         There were very animated discussions after the five talks. Many questions are raised such as “how to resolve conflicts among several siblings”, “what is the ideology of Confucius”, “how to apply the wisdom of Confucianism to resolve the issue of South Sea of China”, and etc. The panel session proved to be an enlightening, informative and engaging event.